Archive | August, 2013

Redneck Yacht Club

21 Aug

Bass trackers, bayliners, and a party barge Strung together like a floatin’ trailer park
Anchored out and gettin’ loud all summer long!
Side by side there’s five houseboat front porches
Astro turf, lawn chairs, and tiki torches
Regular joes rockin the boat, that’s us! The Redneck Yacht Club

I haven’t posted on the blog for a minute because i’m back home and things don’t seem that interesting.  But since i have a typical Dave experience i felt i should share.  Me and my father went in halves on a trailer at a lake camp about an hour away in Michigan a few summers ago.   Of course the following summer i spent in El Salvador, and then I spent half of the next summer there too.  So, this is the first summer where I have got to use the trailer very much.  Jason Schlatter has gone to our church for a long time, and we came to know the campground from him, he helps us by working on dad’s boat and working on our trailer often.  He let’s us use his pontoon and we have a good time.  Well, he needed help loading his boat so he could take it over to get it worked on.  He had a plan, to use my dad’s tiny boat as a tow boat for his pontoon.  My dad’s boat is rated for 4 people, it’s the smallest boat on the lake besides some paddle boats and maybe canoes.  Well, before we could get started on it, we had to get dad’s boat started, So, Jason cut off the old connectors and replaced the connectors to the battery, but still all we were getting was a click when we tried to start the boat.  So Jason takes off the cover, finds the starter teeth are not lining up, hammers it down and now we have power.  But we don’t have power to the lights, and since it has taken this long, it is dark out now.  Melinda, who is this cutie i met playing board games, gets stuck having to hold a flashlight in the back of the boat, while my mom gets stuck holding a flashlight in the front while i drive over to Jason’s boat.

We get to Jason’s boat, and dad’s boat doesn’t want to stay running any time i shift into reverse.  Now we are in a channel about 30 feet wide with boats docked on both sides, do this is moderately stressful to start with.   Jason is very mechanical so he was giving helpful advice.  My mom was giving advice.(give it more gas, go to the left , pull up the choke).  Well, we get the boat going long enough to start towing, , the plan was to pull up to one of the dock spaces that were empty and the momentum of the tow would pull Jason up onto the trailer.  however we had a tough little time keeping the pontoon in between the docked boats, Jason is on the front of his boat pushing off the other boats to keep from crashing into them.  So there was no way to get the momentum required to keep the pontoon going once i pull off into the empty dock space.  Jason’s boat comes to a stop about 8 feet short of the trailer.  There is just no way for this to work.  So, with mom and the cutie both in the boat with me, i strip down to my drawers and jump in.  Luckily i wasn’t wearing whitey tighties, or any scandalous drawers.  I push Jason’s boat onto the trailer, and then we go through another convoluted process of getting my dad’s boat on the trailer and take them both to get fixed.  After that, i went to our trailer, and picked little leeches off my legs.   Well, so that is the story of me stripping down to my drawers in front of my mom, a cutie and Pastor Jason, and somehow not getting yelled at.  I know romance, take a woman up to the lake, have her stand around while someone works on your boat, then have her hold a flashlight for you in the boat as your mom yells ridiculous advice, followed by stripping down to your skivvies and complaining about leeches.